Thursday, February 19, 2009

My Creativity is Not Up for Debate

I’ve spent the last few months scraping myself off the floor from depression and anxiety. I was close to homeless. I’ve lost work. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost twenty pounds. I’ve reached out and received handfuls of help from people I never would’ve expected. Simultaneously I was tricked and betrayed by others I never expected. I stepped back and away. I’ve isolated and cocooned while trying to figure things out.

I’m finally getting things in order and I’ve returned to a spiritual and mental health path that leads me back to feeling creative again. A weekly plan has been put in place to get me back on the acting trail. This is the first week and I’m already feeling excited about my revived creativity.

I’m bringing characters to life. I’m writing sketches again. I’m vlogging and keeping things light so I can stay on this path.

It feels great. I’m elated. Or, I was.

I find it interesting and frustrating to see how some people respond when I make a few changes to the freeepeace persona. I received many comments in support of my character Sabrina Elizabeth. I didn’t mean to fool anyone with her backstory but she’s such an absurd character, she needed an absurd introduction. She’s crazy and fun and a great acting exercise. She gives me good material to practice with - in regards to writing, acting and editing. What more could I ask for? And she’s just one character. There are more to come.

But what about long-time freeepeace followers who ream into me about what they think I’m wasting my time with? What do I do with that? To you I ask: Are you putting yourself out there like I am? Where are your videos? Where are your blog posts? Where are your public comments? NOWHERE.

So, thanks for your support in trying times. I mean that. But I’ll also thank you to keep your private emails filled with scathing comments and hidden agendas to yourself. Unless you have some actual constructive criticism to offer - makeup, lighting, editing tips - then don’t bother clicking send.

My creativity is not up for debate.