Saturday, February 23, 2008

Oh I don't know

I couldn't sleep.  So I'm up.  Feeling a bit nostalgic and longing for that smooth feeling of comfort, being in my skin.

I'm just realizing it's been a long time since I've been quiet, contemplative and introspective.  There's just so much to do.  I know things come in waves and this is just one of them.  I know there are times when life seems to happen non-stop.  And I'm guessing that's where I've been for almost a year.

Journaling is always available but I'm not always in that mode.  Almost makes me grieve for the days of hand-writing in a hardbound paper journal.  Journaling was like spending time with my best friend.  I never left home without my journal. 

Now it's my computer.  I hardly write on paper anymore.

I just did a little reminiscing in here, remembering freeepeace, and how it all started.  Our journals, the community, the endless reads.  I wonder what happened to the many who were a huge part of my daily online experience. 

I know, I left aol.  I was the one who chose to jump ship - along with many others.  We scattered throughout the cosmos.  As much as I liked the new blog-home, its flexibility and customizable options, it never felt quite the same as journaling here.  Visually, I see aol as a private community (like a college campus) where much of the activities are contained.  There's a common area for gathering.  Others can visit anytime (unless it's a closed meeting or the doors are locked for members only).

I dunno.  I've been watching YouTube lately.  I joined over a year ago but didn't really do much with it.  Today is the 2nd Annual "As One" Gathering in San Francisco.  It reminds me of the aol anniversary events I participated in (virtually) here.  And the gathering we all talked about but never made happen. 

Cory "Mr. Safety" Williams of SMPfilms describes the YouTube gatherings as a way for people to see they do belong to a community.  He says friends who aren't involved in the online community don't understand the connection between members.

So true.  That's how it was when I was so deeply involved with aol journals.  My closest friends - one in particular - had the most difficult time understanding the depth, the ties, the connection.  My experiences were minimized.  The internet as a means of being social seemed too foreign.  If they weren't involved, they couldn't possibly understand.  So they didn't take it seriously.

When I started journaling online, social network sites like myspace and facebook didn't have nearly the buzz or traffic they see today (facebook didn't even exist when I started this journal).  And viral video?  Guru filmmaking?  Vlogging?  They were merely particles of thought...if that!

Just journaling


rgossett4195 said...

I try and stay out of the drama which sometimes erupts here.  But I love the closeness of J-land.  So many have left, but many have stayed.  My kids are all on facebook, so I am really not "allowed" to go there  ;-)

I actually need my journal, it's one of the few places I can let my thoughts out.  rose

onetoughcookie43 said...

I hear ya Trish. There has been no place like J-land. J-land was like pulling on your favorite sweater, grabbing a cup of coffee and curling up into a nice warm spot. People like Gregg and Slo-mo, and Vivian, Sharky, Robbie, dear Pam and so many of the others were like family.  We all had our preferences and quirks, but as a community we would all gel when needed.They say you can't go back home again, but I think that is just such a horrible shame. Good to see you still here though.
Love and Peace to you sweetie,

aims814 said...

Sitting here, nodding my head ... understanding what you mean. :-)

I do miss those days. The beginning. It was new to all of us. We bonded like a group of kids, the first week of school, didn't we?