My focus must be off. I'm in a slump. My attention is anywhere but here lately.
I misplaced a key. An important key. A client's key. It was here. Now it's gone.
Gone. Poof. Vanished.
I looked everywhere. Twice. Three times.
This client is out of town. I'm her cat's sole caretaker. I had to call her.
At about this point is where my self-worth is challenged.
Nasty voices in my head.
Claiming some stuff about worthless and undeserving and I told you so.
My client called back and miraculously, there is an extra key.
We are all saved.
Except from myself.
The cat is just fine. My client is gracious and understanding. I'm less forgiving.
I spend the day depriving myself of goodness. After all, I haven't found the lost key. How could I be so careless, clueless and clumsy?
I eat crackers for lunch, suffer a headache and fall into a restless afternoon depression.
I wake up without purpose.
My own worst enemy.
Three back-to-back phone calls put things into better perspective.
The final call is from a fellow dogwalker. She was in a bad car accident over the weekend. Her car is totaled. She's in severe pain. She's on the verge of tears with each breath.
Suddenly, the events of my day are unimportant.
After a few minutes of talking, she relaxes and says to me, "I need to call you every day for a daily dose of Trish."
She knocked me back into myself. Or out of myself.
The truth is, life is good. We're alive. We all have each other, and we have ourselves - all of us.