Sunday, October 30, 2005

Small Town in a Big City

Sunday morning.  Bright and early.  Giving that small town feel to big city life.

Longing to move out of the hub-bub of the city.  I've lived in LA for over thirteen years now.  Yikes.  That's a lifetime.  An entire adult lifetime.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

But lately I've felt like a visitor in my own city.  My heart is still at the beach, in Venice.  Since leaving there, five years ago, I haven't felt at home anywhere.  Sure, I only live a few miles up the street.  I've lived one mile away and still, it's not the same. 

Venice is part of LA.  So what's the difference?  Community.  I haven't found that here, in the heart of the city.  It's busy, dirty, messy, loud, and I miss having trees and a yard or a balcony or a view of the sunsets.

So I (we) have just over six months left in our lease.  That should give us plenty of time to save and look, really look, for a place to call home.   I've lived in many parts of LA over the years.  I love LA.  And I'm tired of moving.  I'm ready to find a home here, where I can grow roots. 

At least I'm still able to find peace around me.  I enjoy hearing the kids in the neighborhood, playing in the alley, riding their bikes, skateboarding.  They all know and love Hunny.  Funny, when I'm walking without Hunny (which isn't often) they don't recognize me at all -- until I get their attention.  Then I hear, "Where's Hunny?"

Still, I only know about half of our neighbors' names.  Many of them ignore me as I pass by.  I've been known to step in front of them and introduce myself.  Some have come out of their shells and smile at me once in a while now.  But many are struggling to make ends meet.  I know that place.  And it shows in their body language.  Stress.  Anguish.  Fear.

So many people.  More than when I arrived in the summer of '92.  And still, we don't look at each other.  We don't really talk to each other.  We're all in such a rush.  Too busy to be bothered with anything outside of ourselves.

The thing is, when I do step outside of myselfand make a connection with the world around me, I usually feel more alive.  Hm. Figure that huh?

My world is what I make of it.  So today, this my little town.

Happy Hunny.  Ready to continue on down the path of her small town amid the concrete jungle.


xzasporated1 said...

In my neighborhood, I am not known as "Jennifer."  I am "Walter's Mom."  And I wouldn't have it any other way.  Sounds the same for you.

And, as far as my vote is concerned, Hunny is the mayor of your community.  Good luck with the looking!!

~~ jennifer

artloner said...

Funny where we wind up, isn't it?

billbinford54 said...

My wife and I ran into our neighbors at the City Centre Saturday night after  a movie.  We got caught up and heard some things about the other neighbors that we hadn't heard.  It's sad but isolation seems to be true all over.

bridgetteleigh75 said...

LA would be a hard place for me to live.  Not because it's not beautiful (I'm sure it is)...just because my entire life, I've lived in those small towns you refer to.  And I love them.  

I hope you can find the home of your dreams, Trish!


krobbie67 said...

I think a small town is a great place to visit but I'll take a big city any day as a place to live. I love the anonymity.  I think you create community where you want it. It seems that there are a lot of Spanish speaking people in your area. My experience has been that some tend to be shy and won't talk even if it's to say hello when they don't understand English very well, if at all. Generally speaking, they are also not a very aggressive culture, no direct eye contact, etc, and it's amplified even more so if they don't know English all too well. However, I've been around your place and generally find your neighbors quite nice and engaging. But, I've been exposed to the Spanish culture probably quite a bit more than some and have come to accept the differences to the point I don't even notice it anymore.

On a different note: I shuddered when I saw a picture of that coffee place. It brought back recollections of the night Andi flew into town. ::::shudders:::: Seems small town to me. ;-) ----Robbie

krobbie67 said...

You know, on second thought those Pugs in that second picture sure do look awfully stand-offish. Ahahahaha!!! Seriously though. It looks it. LOL!
:-) ---Robbie

thebludragoness said...

Wow, very touching entry.

andreakingme said...

Ah! Nicely done. Looks very small townish.

abell1999 said...

I still barely know my neighbors and we've been here five years now. Most of them have moved anyways. Where I grew up everybody knew everybody else. I miss that, but I like being left alone too.


deabvt said...

She`s so pretty!

floralilia said...

aren't dogs great?! - they're always up for the adventure..

succulent living wisdom too, btw...