Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Moving On...

For the past two months I've been negotiating a living situation with my current roommate.  The discussion was about whether I move out or he moves out.  For the first three weeks, every time I mentioned it, his response was, "We have plenty of time."  Finally, six weeks ago I said, "We don't really have plenty of time.  I need to know what your plans are so I can make mine."

Long story short-ish:  We decided he would be the one to move out.  On April 1st he agreed to a May 15th move out date.  That would give me time to clean this place up and get it ready for my new roommate.  She's moving from Indiana to Los Angeles at the end of May.  To find out more, you can read her journal, Unhinged.

Two weeks ago, my current roommate begged to pay me $500 if I'd move.  He had been out looking at apartments (like, two of them) and was wiped out.  We had another serious conversation about how important it is that he needs to move out or I'll need to make other plans.  Again, he swore he'd move.

Well, yesterday he called me from his bedroom.  I was in mine.  He was sounding all pathetic and sorry this, sorry that.  After a minute of beating around the bush, I pinned him down to commit to what he was trying to say.  He's not moving afterall.  Well, surprise...not!  This time he offered a thousand dollars to buy me out.

~ I'm really making an effort to edit this entry for the sake of avoiding a TOSable offense. ~

You see, if Andi and I needed to go apartment hunting, she would've planned a trip here ... um ... three weeks ago.  But because my roommate gave his notice and swore he'd move out, Andi didn't need to spend the airfare.  She's already shipping her belongings and flying cross country.  She's been to this apartment.  She knows the layout.  She approved.  But now, to book the same flight with shorter notice would cost double (practically half a month's rent).  Not cool.

As I was writing (and drastically editing) this entry, I realized I have something weighing on my heart.

My move date is 3-4 weeks away.  Most places are asking for a year's lease.  That means I have to make a year's decision on Andi's behalf.  The stress of that alone is almost worse than having to fit six weeks of preparation into three.  I didn't realize it'd be an issue for me.  She's not here to get a feel for these places.  To get a sense of the surrounding areas.  To really see the dimensions, smell the land, feel the cool tile.  Something that I might think has great potential and character may be something she'd run from.  And vice versa.

So far, her experience of the places I've seen, has been one-dimensional - with snippets of my ramblings.

 I'm walking in the front door...oh, that's interesting...ew, weird...there's a room...and another room...and like a window with a thing on it.

Seriously, I don't know how she deals with me.

I'm also quickly finding out I do not have an eye for taking real estate pictures.  Seriously, my photos suck.  No matter how cute, charming, big, small, bright, cheery, dull or dreary, every picture looks like a generic camera mistake.  You know, like when you're near the end of a roll of film and you just want to finish it to get it developed?

If this were at all visible, you'd be able to see there is a wall in the bedroom.  And this is the bathroom door.  Oh, and here's the kitchen floor.

This is a huge responsibility.  A big decision.  Partially-blind trust.  And I'm suddenly not very comfortable with it.

Oh wait.  I might be PMSing.  And it's past my bedtime.  I'll get a fresh start in the morning.  Maybe things will look different.

I do believe everything happens for a reason.  I'm okay with the way things are.  Really I am.  But this whole thing was completely avoidable if I'd just listened to my gut instincts.  I was just so hoping that my current roommate would be able to show up, and be true to his word.  But you know, I just had this nagging feeling.  So far, that's twice in a week - and both were dead on.  Time to start listening.

16 comments:

shelt28 said...

Nice Journal! Congrats on being an Editor's Pick.

http://journals.aol.com/shelt28/MyLife

Carolyn

phlskygirl said...

Holy crap.  We knew this was coming, but still.  What a WUSS.  Him, not you.  I sincerely hope you're taking the $1,000.  Your inconvenience, not to mention the deposit costs, are worth far more than that.

Back to bed for a couple more hours... more packing to do in the am (soooo glad I kept postponing; my mom's a Superwoman of packing!).

xo

yakima127 said...

Oh, no!  This is quite a bind...you can only do what you can do...you are doing the best under the circumstances.  I would be freaking out about having to pick for someone else---too much responsibility!!!  Hope it all works out...Good luck!  JAE

andreakingme said...

I sent you an e-mail, but I'll a few bits here.

We were both so tired and strung out last night when you were walking through that place that I doubt a Saint could have done the describing justice. But yeah, it's a bit suckish that I can't see the places for myself. Still, I listed what I feel is my important criteria in the e-mail I sent you.

And you WON'T be making a decision about which place we end up in by yourself. Half of the decision is mine. And believe me, you'll feel good and grilled (and so will the landlord/landlady) before I commit to anything.

We're BOTH going to be responsible for whatever we choose. And we'll make the best of it because that's who we are.

xo,
Ahndraya

kristeenaelise said...

Ya know, I may be PMSing too, but this seems like the week(s) for men to behave badly. . . whether its bosses, significant others, brothers, coworkers or roommates.  I'm thinking it may just be a hormonal malfunction that causes them to refuse to analyze how their actions effect other people - if it doesn't effect them directly, they don't care about the impact.

grrr!!  (I also hope you took the $1000!!!  Call it an annoyance fee.)

=) kris

babyshark28 said...

In my opinion, I think you chosing an apartment for you and andi will go just fine.  Most apartments are the same.  And the two of you will make it a great home regardless. :)
It's all part of the journey.
xo

onestrangecat said...

I am sure that you will be able to find a great place for you and Andi.
I hate how your current roommate is doing you.  
Kathy

judithheartsong said...

oh, I am sorry for this stress. Yes, above all listen to the gut.... the more you listen, the more vocal it becomes. judi

heathyrxmarie said...

I have a good feeling about you and Andi!  I know it will work out.  Now if we could just get your roomate to understand this @@
I'll be thinking good thoughts for you, Trish!
Hugs,
xo
Heather

bridgetteleigh75 said...

Truly, I don't think it's about the apartment.  It's all about what you and Andrea make of it...so don't get too stressed, Trish.  You both are going to be just fine!

Love,
b

coy1234787 said...

I'm sure it will all work out, good luck!
               *** Coy ***


digihouse said...

I understand your stress and the fact that he's left you swinging in the wind (again) is just adding to it.  But you said it yourself ~ 'trust your instincts' when searching.  This is going to turn out to the good.  Fresh place, good karma, new start.  Yay, Freee and Dre'! (Dray?  I'm working on it.)    

~~Guess who?    ;)

digihouse said...

PS ~ You made Editor's Pick AGAIN!?  (I can't access it from this server).  Congrats!  (I'm checking your sidebar links....  ;)

aims814 said...

<<I do believe everything happens for a reason>> Me too. I really do believe that. I'm learning to listen to my gut. [it's your spirit, you know] :-) Keep us updated. Good luck! I believe it'll all work out for the best. [listen to your spirit] ::smile::

Love you

grodygeek said...

Man, Freee.
This just sucks. Reality photos suck. Like when I bought my house, some photos looked so good and the place was a dump and some looked, dumpy and were of great places. I sure don't know what makes a good photo of a piece of reality.

I have no idea how or what might help.

I do wish I did. If you lived in the great white north like me you could stay wiith me , heck Andi too.

Gordy
the cycling curmudgeon

amoretticat said...

Wow...I know what you mean about the blind trust...I am right there with you and it isn't easy...There's something I want to clarify though...I missed whether or not you were a guy or chick...sorry, its been that kind of day.  But here we go-has your "significant other" done something in the past that would cause you to worry about a trust issue?  If not, then it isn't a trust thing, it is a faith thing...From what I know, you won't ever know unless you give it a chance...you shouldn't spend yor time focusing on what could go wrong...I about went insane doing that to myself.  The hardest thing is realizing you do not have control of how that person lives and reacts in their existance....you are just responsible for you.