Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Cleaning Out My Closet

I'm sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet.  - Eminem

As some personal things weigh heavily on my mind and in my heart, I've found little or no success in trying to control my surroundings.  In fact, I'm feeling so out-of-control that I can hardly control feeling that way.  Letting go is easier said than done, every single time.  It doesn't matter how much I've let go and set free, I still seem unprepared for the next inevitable release.

I have so much on my plate at the moment, I can barely see the plate.  ~ "The (plate) is a dot to you."  Friends reference for Peachy. ~  As winter approaches, I've instinctively found ways to "control" my own environment.  Earlier in November I spent an entire day clearing out clutter (letting go) and organizing parts of my living space.  That helped my well-being tremendously.  This past weekend -- in between many dog-care duties -- I spent another day organizing my closet.

We'll see how long it stays this way.  I've never had enough shelving or drawers or chair space for my clothes.  So most of what I own gets lost at the bottom of piles.  I tend to wear the same things on a week to week basis.  With this cleaning/organizing spree, whatever didn't fit, didn't stay.  And I mean, whatever didn't fit in the closet!  There's no room and no reason for excess.

No yard sales for me.  I just donated everything.  My roommate had first dibs.  Come to find out, there were a few items that really came in handy for him.  Who knew the cassette adapter for CD players would work perfectly well with his iPod?  He was even excited to find a pair of sunglasses.  Apparently they were his, and he had declared them missing.  [now I know how to make him happy -- hide something of his and watch the excitement grow as he stumbles across it six months later.  hey, works for me too!]

Anyway, I feel much better now when I open the closet door and actually see all my choices without having to dig and guess and wrinkle and stuff back into small cubbies.  Does anyone notice how many pairs of Pumas are in there?  And would you believe there's another pair in the front closet?  Can't seem to let them go.  Love my Pumas! 

My mission was to find shelving -- any kind.  I'm not picky.  I'd love to build my own, but that's a little too involved, especially for a 'temporary' apartment. How about those hanging shelves, huh?  I didn't even know this kind of thing existed.  Gotta love Ross.  Two wide hanging shelves for shirts, sweaters, etc., and one deep, sturdy 10-shelf hanging shoe and accessory holder -- $20,00 total.  I just hope the racks can hold all that weight.  At the very least, I may have to take a crash course in installing reinforcements.  Oh, and I bought a laundry holder -- perfectly sized for my bathroom.  Holds three loads.  Five bucks!  What's not to feel good about?

Oh, update about the cancer-client-doggie --  Surgery was a success.  She's having a speedy recovery.  I'm still sitting with her on days her mom works late.  Her scar is traumatic-looking.  So invasive.  Spans at least half of her body from back to belly.  I hadn't seen it all the time I was with her.  She was wrapped in bandages and covered with a shirt.  She started coming to the dogpark with us again this week.  And she's doing amazingly well.  In fact, she seems to have more energy and more desire to play and socialize.  She roams the park like she always has.  But there's a little more spunk in her these days.


coy1234787 said...

    Nice job, so important to make room for the items in your closet to breathe. I can feel the extra energy all of the way over here in Florida.
                                      *** Coy ***

ryanagi said...

Wow! I need to do this to my closet SO badly. I've got great space in there, it's just not utilized well.

sistercdr said...

Chaos in my environment contributes to how chaotic I feel inside.  Redoing the closet is a big chore, and I'm proud of you. Now here's hope that the intangible closets start feeling more orderly as well.

sunflowerkat321 said...

I'm going to sit here a minute and look at your hard work.  Maybe it will be the kick in the pants that I need.  I was just forced to do my office recently....and it is a huge improvement.  On to the kid's rooms, the closets, the pantry, the garage......

grassriver said...

OMG I'm so inspired! It looks great!
I know what you mean about letting go. It's always tough and never gets easier, but I think that's so we don't forget what we have to let go.

krobbie67 said...

Do you wanna come over and finish mine? Getting the clothes into the closet is the hardest part for me. ::::scrunches eyes:::: Are those dresses?!? Ha ha ha. I so hope you feel better soon. :::hugs:::: :-) ---Robbie

yakima127 said...

Nice work in that thar closet!  I like to hide stuff from MYSELF only to find it six months later...only time I get to experience something "new"!  I am so happy the doggy is doing well!  JAE

freeesfriend said...

Hey darling, i totally know the feeling of a finished job, checked off the list, and organization can feel good even if it only lasts a moment. Babysteps... A closets here, a drawer there, then the cobwebs dusted off a bigger project...LIFE. Thanks for always helping me "clean out my closets". I forget that sometimes the one that appears to have it put together needs some TLC also. Here is much love and hope and best wishes, I should have noticed the closet cleaning was symbolic, my bad. I love you, unorganized and all!!! You unorganized got me beat if my whole house was clean. #2 wife

kuhlhiggins said...

Wow, your closet looks great. I am glad that the dog that has cancer is doing better.

kuhlhiggins said...

Wow, your closet looks great. I am glad that the dog that has cancer is doing better.

babyshark28 said...

love that closet.  We have a small walk in, but we don't seem to own that many clothes because it doesn't seem all that full.....or we just don't utilize it enough, and that's why our clothes are everywhere else! lol.

great job ya did at Ross, I love Ross!

good luck with your plate. :)

indigosunmoon said...

Scarlett cleaned out our closet last weekend.
It took her all day long!  Those hanging shelves
sound like a great idea!  I wonder if walmart
has them.  hm...
Sorry your feeling down honey.  I can certainly
Much love,

mallory4284 said...

Closet looks good. It's really amazing what a little cleaning can do for you. And I do the same thing....wearing the same clothes week to week. Mostly because I just grab what's on top, and what's on top is usually what's been recentally washed....

Anyway, glad to hear your cancer-client-doggie is doing so well! That's some good news.

-- Mallory

onestrangecat said...

I wish my closets were big enough to organize.  yours looks great.


msyahtzee said...

Cleaning out and letting go is hard and seems like a never ending process- because it really is.  Sometimes it feels really good to get rid of stuff weighing us down or cluttering  Other times it is literally painful.  Thanks for giving it some perspective and motivating me to let go of some of my stuff, again.  -Kari

derossetfamily said...

Wow, I almost feel as if I've been that productive just reading all you've done! The closet looks good! I spent several hours organizing my scrapbook stuff last weekend. It was actually a big feat for me--the paper is even sorted by shade! LOL I'm so proud of me sometimes :P
All my love to the doggie, thats such a sad thing, but I'm glad to hear she is recovering well!

readmereadyou said...

I think cleaning out our closets is always symbolic. I know since my daughter helped me with mine (I'm a pack-rat) and forced me to get rid of things I'll never use, I love my closet and I'm also calmer.

Happy the dog is okay too.


diannevan said...

But wasn't this also the day you were supposed to go to the ENT??

sonensmilinmon said...

I've gone through the cleaning of my closet, I've cleaned my living spaces, I've cleaned out the kitchen all in effort of letting go and releasing some of what seems to weigh me down.  I wish I could say it was successful.  Even in my journal I've let old memories take over in order to release something, anything.  I feel very weighted down at the moment and I know it's mental but, I guess I keep hoping letting go of the physical will help me in releasing more.  Sending you positive uplifting thoughts.


s0ngbird1962 said...

Somehow by uncluttering one's life, one's inner being seems more uncluttered too...  Great job on the closet, looks very organized.  Jealous here...  in this old house I live in, closets are very VERY small.  Guess back in the day, people didn't have so many clothes.  Hmmm...and less clothes and smaller closets mean less clutter.  ~~Maybe we should go back to those simple times.

jcgeorgiapeach said...

The space looks wonderful.  
There's something cathartic about chucking weight in a room that shouldn't be holding it...with the things on your dot right now, extra stuff has no room to hang out.

Excellent organizational skills.  Now take a break and lay low a bit and just enjoy the peace you've created in your personal space.  ~Peachy

judithheartsong said...

Good for you.............. I am so happy to hear about the dog. Hang in there. judi

sharkie412 said...

Your closet thanks you. :)

freeepeace said...

ROBBIE - Please, please!!  I'd love to help you with your home projects.  Geez, you have microscopic vision!  Disclaimer on the dresses:  I've had them for about five years. I've only worn three of them.  I can count the number of times (and name the events) on both hands while sipping a cup of coffee.  Three of them have never been worn.  One of which is still sporting the price tags.  All are from Ross! :D

JAE - I think I knew that about you.  It sounds very familiar.  Great idea, hiding things to find them later.  Like putting money in seasonal jackets.  My problem lately is forgetting to do it.

BETH - Great screen name.  At first I was a teeny-tiny bit scared (in a stalkerish kinda way)...till I read on.  I hope you know there's room for everything.  I can be perfectly available for you, even during life's happenings.  That's how it works.  If (when) I need something, I'll let you know ... you KNOW I do. ;)  Love you!  By the way, I didn't even know the closet cleaning was symbolic, till I knew, ya know?  We'll talk soon. xoxox

KAT - Thanks!

freeepeace said...

COY - Ooh, felt all the way in Florida.  I dun good! ;)

RYANAGI - I've never had a closet so organized.  It's amazing what open shelving does.  Actually saves time!  In the last few years, this has become a fun hobby of mine.  I help others organize...really fun project!  Next time I'm out your way, I'll see what I can do. ;)

SISTERCDR - So true.  My closet feels so good that I look forward to opening the door.  Gotta organize a few other places now.  One thing at a time.

KAT - Oooh, I'm envious.  You organized your office.  I'll have to stop by your place to see if you posted pictures.  I need ideas.  My workspace is usually cluttered.

KELLI - Looking at these pictures inspires even me.  I wish I took some 'before' photos...but I guess it was just *that* bad.

freeepeace said...

SHARKY - The whole walk-in closet concept escaped me till last weekend.  No joke.  I kept things in there I could never get to -- and didn't need.  Like an old microwave.  Hello?  What's up with that?  You should've seen the huge boxes filled with old cassette tapes.  I just tossed 'em.  I'd had them, in those boxes for 10+ years.  Yowza!  Yes, Ross Rocks!

CONNIE - I'm sure most department stores carry some kind of hanging shelves.  They're a great invention.

MALLORY - Exactly!  Grab what's on top, wear it, wash it, put it back on top, and start all over.  We'll see what happens if I can keep things organized like this for longer than a week,

KATHY - This closet was so big (compared to past closets) that I wasn't sure what to do with it.  That's why it took me 18 months to make something useful of it.

KARI - You're right. Letting go is a never-ending process.  If I can keep that in perspective, It might be a lot easier to let go each time.

freeepeace said...

MICHELLE - Small closets mean less clutter, absolutely!  It also provides you with the opportunity to get creative with things like shelves, cubbies, storage bins... ooooh, I love that stuff.  Talk to me about HGTV and Home Depot and I'm all ears.  lol

PEACHY - Thanks.  You're right.  No space for excess.  I'll have plenty of time to rest when I'm laid up next weekend.

JUDITH - Yay for the dog.  She amazes me.

SHARKIE412 - Hm, my closet does seem much happier. :)

freeepeace said...

MARY - I finally took my first step into a scrapbooking store (across the street) and felt like an alien.   I can totally see how your supplies can grow and get out of control really fast. Organizing all your stuff must have felt like an incredible accomplishment.  Good for you!

ANGELA - I was amazed still today when I realized what a calming agent organization is.  I'm not spending as much time searching through piles of tee-shirts, unfolding, refolding, tossing, etc.  I open the door, look inside and decide.  [i still don't have enough clothes to last two weeks between washes.  but at least i can see what i *don't* have by the end of the second week.] ;)

MONICA - Aww, I hear ya girl.  It's a constant process.  Just keep letting go.  Gently remind yourself.  ::hugs::