I feel crappy. Not sick. Just blah - blech - yuk! I know I'm not the only one. Sometimes that's comforting. And sometimes it makes me feel more crappy. I'm not like anyone else. Yet, I'm just like so many others who are going through the blahs. Hmph! Can't even have this experience for myself. Crap!
I know I'm not alone in my overindulgence of processed foods, starches and sugar. It almost validates my self-destructive behavior. Even my "healthy" friends are eating crappy (yummy) foods. So I'm justified.
But when I sit and wallow in my self-pity, worrying about work (business is slow), complaining about the ring around my waist, isolating from the world, I don't feel so justified. Instead, I feel like crap.
... I suddenly feel like a South Park character trying to see how many times I can say "crap" in one entry.
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In tonight's episode, the role of CARTMAN will be played by FREEEPEACE...
STAN: Don't say crap
FREEEPEACE: Ha! You just said it. a spoonful of frozen yogurt slips out of her hands Crap!
KYLE: Freeepeace, don't say crap.
FREEEPEACE: Why not?
STAN: Because it's not nice fatso.
FREEEPEACE: Hey, I'm not fat, I'm ... ah crap! you're right. She drops to the ground to scoop up the melting frozen yogurt. Crap!
STAN and KYLE: Freeeeepeeeeeace!
STAN and KYLE: Dont! Say! Crap!!
FREEEPEACE: Oh? No? Crap! Crappy-crap! Crappety-crap-crap-crap!
KENNY: charges for Freeepeace's half-eaten pint of frozen yogurt mumble-mumble-gesture-mumble-mumbl
FREEEPEACE moves Phish Food out of harm's way
KENNY slips on drips of Ben & Jerry's and falls in open manhole
STAN and KYLE: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
STAN knocks Ben & Jerry's out of Freeepeace's hands. It rolls down the manhole
FREEEPEACE: You bastards! she chases pint and gets stuck in manhole. Ah crap! This is a crappy ending to a perfectly crappy day.
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We shall return to our regularly scheduled programming -- sometime...ish.