Tuesday, March 9, 2004

Writer's Block & Sluggish Brain

I am struggling. My writing is suffering. I keep starting and stopping. It's as if the passion has died. I believe in the cycle of things. I've written about it before. But this feels slightly different. In the past, I've felt anxious because I've wanted to write and I've had ideas, but they just weren't flowing with ease.

Lately I've been apathetic about writing. I've been lax in AOL-J. I've just not been interested. Perhaps because I haven't had the energy or motivation. But how would that come to be practically overnight? I'd call this a different form of writer's block.

Whether you're a writer by trade or for fun. What's your take on it? What's your experience of writer's block?

In my daily life, I'm finding my brain to be sluggish. I'm forgetting the simplest things. It's like I can see the lifetimes of information - but I can't reach it in time to have an intelligent conversation. As though it's locked behind a clear glass door.  Names, dates, words are getting mixed up and completely lost. 

I've always had a quick-wit. I've been able to tie things together with words and humor in split seconds. But lately, my mind draws a blank. I know what I want to say but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. I watch people scrunch their faces, trying to help me grasp the information. But because they have no idea where I'm going in my train of thought, they can't help. It's not constant, but when it happens, it's consistent.

I imagine this is how an Alzheimer's patient feels all the time, with every little thing. If you've ever suffered any kind of memory loss, I now can relate. And it's very frustrating, because in these moments, I know the information is there. I just can't attain it.

When it comes to writing, if I can't remember a word or a name, I look it up, pop it in the text and move on. Maybe my brain has gotten lazy because I'm relying on technology too much. But maybe, just maybe I'm slowly losing my mind.

Can anyone relate to this?  If so, how does it affect you? If not, how do you remember things throughout your life?

32 comments:

derossetfamily said...

"Lately I've been apathetic about writing." <- This is so me right now! I havent read journals in like 3 days, I havent had anything move me to write, it just feels like a chore this week. I love it, but sometimes, I just get that funk. I'm totally relating to this entire entry, with the exception of memory loss, but I do get what you mean. I dont know what to tell ya, other than that Im on the same page you are. Bleah.
~Mary

s0ngbird1962 said...

Freee, have you had your thyroid levels checked?? Seriously, memory loss, decreased mental clarity, fatigue, sluggishness can be signs of hypothyroidism. Are you cold alot? Anyways, just a thought while reading your entry.

When writing poetry, I cannot force myself to write one. Am always inspired by something that makes me have to write one. I can go months then BOOM will write one from start to finish in 10 minutes. My creativity also comes in ebbs and flows... Normal I think.

babyshark28 said...

Part 1
Well, this was a great entry freee...it is well written.
and I know what you are saying...it's seems to be going around here. I struggle with my memory A LOT, new jobs always have me worried. And this new job is really trying me! sigh. I feel for you girl :)

babyshark28 said...

Part 2 Write about what you do know...even if it's about not feeling quite right. your a great writer...it'll come again. maybe...you have come full circle and you just need another spin...something to get you going again. something you love? something you miss? xxo sharky

krobbie67 said...

Uh, yeah! And now I'm worried about my thyroids thanks to the comment down below. LOL. Actually, I think for me it's that I'm not getting enough rest. Brain gets all fuzzy with 4 hours of sleep a night for too long. :-(

I've been having problems thinking of words. I'm okay so long as they are simple but don't ask me for anything above 6th grade.

I think my motivation for writing ebbs and flows. Sometimes I'm fighting writing something because I just don't want to explore it and other times I just don't feel like it damn it! Usually, I don't feel like it when it feels like a chore. If I have to write, I hate it! It's a struggle.

What I usually try to do is just write something, anything, even if it's about how I'm not feeling like writing. Like you did here!

After this comment you probably won't feel like reading anymore either. (too long)
;-) ---Robbie

jeffcomedy said...

I've been trying to get into your head with this entry. Maybe you have set the bar to high for yourself. I do it myself. You get praise, you feel you have to be on spot EVERY SINGLE TIME, and your brain just shuts down from the pressure. Don't. Just write what you feel like and let the rest worry itself. Like you did here. Just by you. That's what people want.

irun01 said...

Rock Star. When my head gets into a fog, I have to write everything down. I write notes everywhere during the day. If you are slowly losing your mind, remember that all GREAT Rock Stars lose their minds at some point or another. Your among friends.

dazeychic said...

Im a horrible rememberer! (If thats a word!?) So this entry is not for me at all!
I cant help in the least!
But, I dont think you are loosing you mind! I think you've gotten out what you "needed" to write and say...and now!? Your mind is pooped. (so to speak!) It needs a breather, thats all!
BTW: Thanks for your uplifing comment over at my journal shack!
Take care of yourself and let your mind rest a couple days! Veg out on old movies or something!
XXOO ~Shells

queenz43 said...

Hey {{{{{Freee}}}}}For me, words don't flow when I try to deny how I am feeling on a given day. When I smother my true-self and allow my learned self free reign. When I try to put on my happy face and hide the "trueness" the writing juices stop flowing for me. Whenever I resist just being me, fears, warts and all( not real warts of course :-) I don't think you're losing your mind, just maybe have a lot on it. Write when you feel it, don't worry about it when you don't.
~RC

fyrecracker1 said...

I don't write, but I do artwork and I feel the same exact way sometimes... I guess I get "artist" block! Sometimes, I just sit there for hours and stare at a blank mirror, thinking, "oh my goodness... where has my creativity gone?" I'm sure this doesn't help you... I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone... I'm also confident that it will pass... I still make mirrors, don't I? ;o)

andreakingme said...

4 of 4

But since this seems to be a case of you not feeling like writing AT ALL, you might need a clean break for a few days or so to distance yourself and recharge. (If you're losing YOUR mind, then so am I, girlfriend!)

Where do lost minds go, anyway? I might want to get a new one some day.

andreakingme said...

2 of 4

But like you, some days are good and some days make me doubt myself. I don't knock myself up about it ... I just kind of gently wallow in it with the knowledge that I'll bounce back again tomorrow or the next day. No one is "on" all the time and we all go through physical, emotional and mental highs and lows (biorythums).

andreakingme said...

3 of 4

When it comes to writer's block, I'll spend a little time to try and work past whatever might be hanging me up by concentrating on another section or detail that needs to be written. Who says something has to be written linearly or in step-by-step order?

andreakingme said...

1 of 4

Trish, my hubby tells me all the time that he doesn't know how I ever got along without him because I forget things all the time, I'm not technically inclined, I get lost easily, frustrated easily, and most of the time, have little or no motivation to do anything but read, watch movies, or surf the 'Net.

andreakingme said...

I tracked down a great article on writer's block by Holly Lisle, who writes Fantasy and a smidge of romance. I LOVE her how-to articles. She's just the BEST. See it at:

http://hollylisle.com/fm/Articles/wc1-3.html

nikki247 said...

Don't be to hard on yourself - I have writers block ALL THE TIME. What I do is I turn on the TV or I just go surf the interent - I either relax with the tv or surf the interent for things related to what I want to talk about. It always helps to see it coming from another's point of view. Just don't be too hard on yourself, you are a very creative person and that will never ever be different :) I just wrote an entry that meant a lot to me, it took me a whole day to write it (it wasn't that long) and I actually had to look at pictures and listen to music from that time in my life to bring back the memories. Music helps me a lot to remember things because it has been a huge part of my life.

quroboros said...

It's hardest when you've got an assignment & can't produce; luckily I don't work that much! Still WB is a bitch, but I've learned not to beat myself up over it. I go back over unfinished work & edit or read something I wrote several yrs ago. That often works like a defrag for the gray cells. ;-) ¤Holly

miarenee24 said...

Oh sweetie, I do believe you've been spending too much time with me! For real..Yes, I can totally relate! I've always been one with delayed reaction, but I don't think this is you. My opinion on writing? Burnout. Pressure to write something. Pressure to be creative. I only update when I feel I have something to say. As far as the wit goes..I dunno, I can't relate. Never been witty myself. Love you.

jeanyu said...

Hi, I think it's a positive sign, you wrote about your block here. From now on you have to go up! That's all. Once you hit the bottom, you know the rest... You seem very special and loved by many fellow journalers. They all are patting on your shoulder right now, 'It is fine to be discouraged, we all know that from our personal experiences.'

geminiwilder said...

Freee, I've always had a problem with memory! I can relate to everything you've written here, my Gemini sister! Especially the quick wit...sometimes it seems to be lost. Are you easily distracted, like in the middle of a sentence, do your thoughts drift off? I hate that. I struggle with that ALOT. Wish I could help you....
xo~cindy

musenla said...

I don't think you're losing your mind at all, perhaps it's just stress of daily life translating itself in what you think and write. I've had writer's block and it is frustrating. Just give yourself time to process, absorb and understand. Listen to your body and your mind, it's probably telling you to slow down a little bit. Sooner rather than later, I'm sure it'll catch up with you! Smooch.

sepintx said...

Yep.
Tap once on your keyboard for yes, twice for no is all I can do some evenings.

This time of year I start feeling the effects of pollen. Even though I don't get congested bad, I do get to feeling run down in the spring. Ebb and flow of the seasons.

sonensmilinmon said...

I haven't been writing in my journal as often .. or not forcing myself to write daily. Seems I can jabber about anything anytime!

I GOT YOUR CD ~ AWESOME ... SIMPLY AWESOME!!! Sonny and I both LOVED the CD ~ WoW ~ can't wait for MORE of your music. I plan on sharing your cd in my journal when I post again ~ tomorrow most likely. Too busy reading and ready to go lay down and listen to the CD again. :) IF Sonny didn't take it with him to work!!!

Smilin Mon

ckays1967 said...

Sometimes one must wait for more life to happen and then whammo....more word fuel. waiting helps me always and I am not patient.

aynetal3 said...

Apathetic ... showing no feeling or emotion? Feeling low might not be pleasant, but it is real too. Sometimes I think you forget that you are a very worth while person. I'd add to the chorus in saying continue to write when and about whatever is immediately before you. And, be nice to yourself ... maybe your preconscious is battling other battles you've just not tuned in to yet? Our love, Ayn and all

montaukny said...

Trish ~ I can totally relate to this! For so long I've felt totally unprepared for every day life. Just remember how much you've got going for you, sweetie! Not everybody can have good days 24/7/365...it would be unrealistic & just plain not human! How would 1 know if they were having a good day if it weren't for the bad? I know it's cliche, but true. Just know that I'm here for you to give you tons of {{{hugs}}} & that I think you're special & wonderful! ~Aunt Nub~

lucylouladybug said...

I feel that I've been lax on my journal too, but then I think, I have a life outside of this, this is only an outlet, and extension of what and who I am. I only owe it to me to continue this. As for remembering things, some things are very clear to me, but I have huge chunks of childhood that I don't remember, yet my brothers remind me, lol. But that's a different story that I choose not to delve in...
Love, Penny

gingergirl05 said...

I often have memory problems, even though I've been told by doctor after doctor that I have a great memory. I forget things all the time, especially when nervous, which is most of the time lol. I lose energy and motivation a lot, but I suppose that's mostly the depression that overtakes me--but this could be a bout of depression for you..? Just take a little at a time. Write one line, remember one name...and relax with that. It's okay to take it slow.
I only write for fun, unless it's school-related, of course. When writer's block creeps up while I'm writing for fun, I become very technical. I just write with new words that I've just learned; or I write about one small experience. And then when the creativity begins to flow again I've at least learned something new and used it in my down time. However, when there's a due date involved you can't be so lax about it. In those times of crisis I organize information and do my best to just get out whatever I can. If it sucks, it sucks. All you can do it try.
Good luck with the writing and memory, Freee! :o) ~ Kate xo

slowmotionlife said...

I can relate to this entry. I have weeks where I feel dumb-headed. Can't write a single coherent sentence. I don't have good conversations. Feel lost in my daily chores. Then it all comes back and my brain is alive with thoughts, ideas, words, a great flow of activity. I think the fact you were able to write THIS shows you're probably ok... just uninspired. Or inspired by the fact that you're uninspired? Get out.. live life. It gives you something to WRITE about. :)

itsjustusinnc said...

Sometimes inspiration leaves us while we recharge those batteries. There are times when I forget words or names, but it's usually a result of me A) not eating right or B) being unbelievably hung over. I'm suspecting it's probably the first in your case. MmmHmmm. I thinnk I'm gonna have to call you out for some food shots Freee! :-)

Gregg

bridgetteleigh75 said...

We've all been in those shoes, Trish. And it's not a fun place to be. Since I've had Parker...my memory seems to be a hundred times worse.

Do you think perhaps you are suffering from a mild form of depression? Or, Gregg could be right...perhaps you just aren't eating enough. (I know you eat healthy foods...so I don't think the grease is clogging up your head...LOL).

If there's something I can do...please let me know.

Hugs and more hugs,
bridgett

somenuttychic said...

Ah, writer's block. I had it just today. (As you know.) For me it's just . . . plenty to write, but most of the time being very careful about what I say. So that's a problem. For you . . . hmmm. Hard to say what is happening. (Or was.) Sounds more like a general feeling of being overwhelmed that is bleeding into *everything* you do, not just your journal.