Thursday, March 11, 2004

Response to Comments

Before I respond to everyone individually, I feel the need to let you know my privacy has not been infringed upon.  There was a small incident that brought these thoughts to the forefront - so I expressed them.  Please know, if I feel uncomfortable with something, I will let you know personally.  I have in the past.  And I will continue to do so.  I believe communication is key to a healthy, happy community.

That said, I'd like to make a couple of other things more clear.

Some of you have my full name posted in your journals, linking my website.  I am not offended nor do I feel violated.  I am honored to be displayed with such prominence.  It's a privilege!  And I thank you.

I also don't mind that some of you refer to me as my true name in AOL-J.  I was merely making an observation.  When I visit other journals - journals that are new to me - I refer to the journaler as their appointed name.  Some of you post your name in your About Me section.  Some leave comments and sign your name.  I return that respect by referring to you as you are introduced to me.

My point [though not very clear - sorry, foggy brain] is to say, please check with me before posting personal information. And I will do the same.  For example, a conversation, an email, a picture, names of friends.

I'd also like to say, if I have violated this, my own personal code of ethics, please bring it to my attention.  We all make mistakes, sometimes with the greatest intentions.  There's room for error.  It helps us grow.  That's what makes us strong individually and as a community.

I cherish the relationships that have been cultivated through AOL-J.  I feel supported and challenged to grow.  I value each and every one of you.

36 comments:

rinakatay21 said...

I understand that you don't want your personal information strewn about all over the internet. But there have been many things that you've shared and made common knowledge. i.e. you're name, where you live, etc.

I've been studying the copyright thing...and yes "works" published online are protected, but I don't know that conversations, e-mails or IMS are protected. That's a personal choice...it's conversation...and I don't believe there's any protection there. Continued below...

rinakatay21 said...

Continued from above.... Defamation and Slander are a totally different story, but I don't think that's what you're saying here. When you say something in e-mail, IM or in a concersation it's that person's disgression to repeat that. You have to watch what you say to people...and recognize who you can trust. But I doubt a law suit regarding a 'he-said, she-said' online conversation would hold up.

diannevan said...

The topic of personal emails being posted was appropriate today. The Office Manager at Dr. G's office wanted a patient's hubby to help me set up my VPN network. I emailed him today and told him what she had said, and then I wrote "I assume she's talked to you about this and it hasn't come as a surprise..." Well, he forwarded my email to her and wrote that he didn't mind helping. But my email was intended for HIM, not my client. It wasn't bad, but she could take it the wrong way.

irun01 said...

** I'd also like to say, if I have violated this, my own personal code of ethics, please bring it to my attention. **

Well . . . . I guess you haven't really violated this . . . . I mean . . I guess the full size poster you have of me hanging in your living room really doesn't count now does it . . . .
:)

krobbie67 said...

Freee ~ Thank you so much for your entries here and your support and understanding today. I see the situation has been taken care of. I know you probably thought I had flipped my lid by my hysteria but there's history behind it. I thank you so much for rallying to help me. I still feel a little uneasy but will keep my journal open for now and play things by ear.

Thank you for reminding people that what is said outside journals should be considered private in nature and the details shouldn't be revealed. Respect people's privacy. I speak about very personal things but when it comes to revealing the actual identity of myself, or anyone else, I try to be very general in nature. It took me a while before I even posted my picture.

Like you said, you never know who is reading your journal and you can never be too careful in this day and age, especially as a woman. Thank you for understanding. Your the best! :-)---Robbie

aims814 said...

"I cherish the relationships that have been cultivated through AOL-J. I feel supported and challenged to grow. I value each and every one of you."

I feel the same way :) Love you, girl. And again...obviously, I've missed something else. ?


s0ngbird1962 said...

Freee, I'm sorry if your privacy was infringed upon. But this is a great reminder of how careful we should be. I know I post a lot of pics of my kids, but other than a trusted few, people do not know where I live. Maybe they can figure out what coast, but not the exact location. I figure as long as my profile & other info stays generic, it's a BIG world out there. Strangely enough, I was more hesitant to put my words & poetry out there. I know it is protected by copyright laws; but still...

slowmotionlife said...

I believe emails are absolutely protected by copyright. As well as certain IM conversations... I've read emails and IM's that were works of art! Poetry! An artistic outpouring! If I were to post them in my journal without the sender's consent, I would be violating the writer's use of those words. It would be wrong. Even if a lawsuit didn't stand up in court. [Though I'm sure, in some cases, it would.] The problem is, most people won't go to the trouble to sue. So it's an empty threat. :(

slowmotionlife said...

I know the issue of names is sensitive for some people. I made the decision early on not to use my real name, but to use the nickname given to me [Thanks Andrea!] Some people know my real name and occasionally use it. But I'm extremely careful about giving out my last name. This is a matter of respect, decency, privacy, and justified caution. It's not a matter of copyright or what's technically legal to do and what's not. You're valued, Freee. Your privacy is respected. It's ok. :)

derossetfamily said...

I just read both entries, very well written and a good reminder that we need to be mindful of what we write in our journals, as well as what we write about other journalers in our journals, what we divulge in comments, etc.I try to be as respectful as possible and I hope that it would be brought to my attention if I ever make or have made anyone feel uncomfortable/violated in any way ~ because I think thats the last thing any of us want to do. I'm just here for the food :)
~Mary

sonensmilinmon said...

uh oh ... am I in trouble? I should have written you first ... I posted a picture of your CD, and it has your name plastered across the CD. I just HAD to pimp your CD ... it's AWESOME!!!

Smilin Mon

itsjustusinnc said...

OK then. I'm glad that's settled. But it DID need saying. And now that I think about it, I think I know what sparked this. I'm just glad it wasn't me. Hehe! :-)

Gregg

freeepeace said...

DIANNE - I tend to treat work-related email similar to an 'interoffice memo.' I've often received forwarded emails like what you describe. Again, we're talking about a 'code of ethics.' Now you know how that Office Manager will treat your future emails. Good information for you :)

IRUN - I suppose if I posted a picture of me kissing that full size poster of you - THAT might violate my own code of ethics. :P

ROBBIE - I did NOT think you had "flipped your lid." Your concerns were valid. I hope to continue to visit your journal as it is. But I support whatever decision you make for yourself. Whatever's in your best interest. Good point - many of us speak of very personal things but keep actual identity general. It's up to us to reveal what and when we're ready.

MIA - Don't fret. You didn't miss anything! All's well. I love you too :)

MICHELLE - [you do know I call you that because it's in the title of your journal. If you would like to be called s0ngbird, I'll happily oblige. Just let me know] And to reiterate: my privacy was NOT infringed upon :) I remember some of your readers thought you actually lived in Alaska this winter! You're all over the globe! :P And I completely understand your hesitation about posting your writings and poetry. It's all a personal process.

freeepeace said...

SLOMO - You're right, there are copyright laws about all written material. If it came down to it, it's good to know we're protected in that sense. But you and I both know this is about common sense, decency and ethics. Those who choose to violate my privacy by reposting without permission will lose respect. Just seems worse than any lawsuit I could imagine. Thank you, SloMo, for respecting my privacy! You know where you stand with me. :)

MARY - Haha! I adore you - I hope you know that. And if you're here for the food, I hope you're not too disappointed. But there is an endless supply of chocolate chip cookies!

SMILIN MON - You? In trouble? NO WAY! I'm honored and humbled! Thank you for pimping my CD. Your support is greatly appreciated! :)

GREGG - Who says it wasn't you? KIDDING! All's well. And yes, it did need saying - if not for anyone but myself!

queenz43 said...

Getting here late but just wanted you to know that I read and appreciated this entry as well. Hope a great weekend is waiting for ya' Freee. See ya on the next run,~RC~

rinakatay21 said...

And you're right too, Free...I do know that it's about decency and ethics, etc. That's why I didn't understand that you brought up copyright laws to begin with. I mean...if you say something in a chat room or IM that is negative towards a person...is that defamation? That seems quite a bit overboard. But yeah, it's certainly about respect and trust...not about lawsuits or copyright laws.

rinakatay21 said...

You're right SloMo...all kinds of works can be put in IMS, e-mails etc. But I'm still not so sure about conversations being protected under copyright...regardless of verbal, handwritten, e-mail, etc. And generally, e-mails are conversations. The whole thing just kinda threw me for a loop. That's why I brought it up. A good friend of mine is in law school. I'll get the scoop from her.

mallory4284 said...

Finally I can comment...geesh....anyway, I understand completely where you're coming from. There are only a few people out there in AOL-land that know my whole name and address and they're the ones that I consider my friends because I've been talking to them online for so long. I don't even put my last name when I fill out registration things online all that much. I almost always replace it with my middle name....

-- Mallory :)

freeepeace said...

RC - Thanks for the check-in. Happy Friday to you. Yay for the weekend [not that it's much different from my weekdays] :)

MALLORY - Wow, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to drop a line here. Smart use-of-caution online. Good idea using middle name. I sometimes just use initials when filling out forms. Hey, isn't this the kick-off to your Spring Break? Have fun girl!

andreakingme said...

Garsh, what to say but that I agree? We should treat people the same way on the Internet that we treat them in real life. Y'know?

freeepeace said...

ANDREA - Wow. Simply put and wisely said. Agreed. :)

jennipooh3597 said...

Definitely agree...:::nods head::: Thankfully, those who know me in person and read my journal... never let on any personal connection re: my online and "real time" worlds. And those who know me only via internet - no matter how close and revealing those relationships are... always respect my privacy. Totally agree with your entry... and your ethics. :) Be well, Jenn

irun01 said...

** IRUN - I suppose if I posted a picture of me kissing that full size poster of you - THAT might violate my own code of ethics. :P **

Now, there is a picture that I want to see . . . . .
:)

karensull12 said...

I think that it's great that you addressed this issue. I have been very hesitant to reveal too much information not so much about myself, but about my family. I haven't been able to display pics of my children like I want to because I am cautious in the internet world where people can be whatever they tell you they are, which could be all lies. I feel I've come to know some people better than others but as long as my journal is open to everyone, I think it is better to be safe than sorry.

freeepeace said...

JENN - thanks for the nods. We tend to choose the same qualities in online friends as we do in 'offline' friends.

IRUN - You tease! :P

KAREN - Excellent points of caution. There are quite a few things I've kept from this journal for the same reasons. Bring on private journals already!

musenla said...

As all of us value YOU, dear Freee. I too, stand by the same rules. Anything revealed in private is sacrosanct, and I only use names if I have the permission, express or implied, to do so such as when commenters leave their name. In the wild beyond that is the Internet, we can never be too careful, and people's level of comfort where this is concerned should be respected. You have made yourself clear, and your request is sensible and fair. =P

bridgetteleigh75 said...

Ditto. I think I speak for everyone in AOL-J Land, when I say 'We value YOU.' You have this charisma, Freee...it draws people to you instantly. I can't explain it, but I've felt it.

And you're absolutely right about privacy and communication. It is the key to maintaining a healthy group. I debated and debated before I posted Parker's picture here. It took me nearly 3 months. And some nights, I still worry like mommy's tend to do. =)

bridgetteleigh75 said...

Woot! I just noticed...I'm your 17,000th visitor. =)

And one other thing...I just caught up on older entries and left comments...go take a peek when you have a free minute!

Love you, dear friend!
Bridgett

montaukny said...

You're so on track with your entries regarding this subject! There's a certain lack of respect in the world anymore, whether the person is 9 or 90. I grew up knowing that you always called people Mr/Mrs So&So, unless told otherwise. Case in point, my mom's best friend, was always "Mrs__" until 1 day she said "You've known me so long, just call me __ from now on." I correct my niece/nephew sometimes about the "Aunt" part. ~Aunt Nub~

montaukny said...

PS But now I can't help wondering if I was 1 of the people who have done wrong by you. I certainly hope not; you're too important! ~Aunt Nub~

wessolo said...

It's just so hard to remember all those eeeee's. Besides, like I have said, you have the coolest name I think ever. Well, Darko Milicic is pretty cool too. I often wonder if in the future everyone will go by their avatar or screenname. I want to be called Supernovae if so.
Isn't the weather gorgeous?

- Solo

freeepeace said...

MUSE - I value your integrity and hold you in high regard. Thank you, as always, for hearing me.

BRIDGETT - Congratulations on being the 17,000 visitor! :P I just love ya girl. :)

AUNT NUB - No worries. You haven't done any "wrong by" me. No one has, really. I was raised the same - to respect adults by using a proper prefix. xo

SOLO - :P I don't mind you [or others] calling me by my name. It was more of an observation while the issue of privacy came up. You're right Darko Milicic is a pretty cool name.
Yes, the weather is gorgeous.

Oh wait.

babyshark28 said...

I thought I commented here...I guess I didn't.

but, I agree...I am also very cautious, so I understand totally. feeling safe as you possibly can in aol-j land is sometimes a hard dance.

and...uh....speaking of violations...what life size poster of my husband are you kissing?? ;)

freeepeace said...

SHARKY - ::shrug:: the poster just kind of appeared in my living room.

somenuttychic said...

Great post. Well written and up frong. As always.

somenuttychic said...

Pardon me. That was supposed to read up FRONT. (Fat fingers.) lol