I feel so angry today. I hate just about everything - especially my new hairdo. I just wanna shave it all off. I knew this would happen but I forgot what it felt like to be so ashamed of my hair that I want to crawl under a rock and not return till it all grows back. My hair is tweaky-curly. That means it curls in the strangest places and sticks out in the oddest ways. I feel more ugly than ever. But who cares right? Looks don't matter and all that crap!
I'm so damn busy today that I don't have time to prepare for my gig. I rushed through a shower and packed up my guitar and makeup. I have to work at the yoga studio all afternoon. So, no going home before the gig.
It's okay though. I'm only playing two songs. But I have to get there early to meet drummer-boy and "discuss" the two songs in the parking lot. If I'd prepared better ahead of time, I might've thought to buy fishnet stockings - in honor of the production company. But I didn't. I'm wearing a tank and jeans. Tough.
The thing I'm most anxious about is getting there. I know how to get there but I don't know the place well enough to know where to park and what time to leave. I'm more relaxed when I know where I'm going.
I feel abandoned by some of my friends... like somehow this is insignificant - or that I'm insignificant. Blah. I know that's not true. But I have to type it to get it out of my system. I'm just feeling pouty. I don't even have time to stop and cry! And yoga? Forget it!
I'm just plain irritated. Everything is bothersome - the air, city noises, my phone-ring, my "slow" cable modem, AOL - everything! I want to scream and cry right here - right now!