Thursday, March 25, 2004

Be Your Own Hero

Before I close up shop, I always check on the black widow.  Sometimes she's out and proud - and beautiful.  Sometimes she's tucked away. But I can usually see her legs.  The other night she wasn't visible, so I put my face to the floor to check in her corner. At that angle I was nose-close to the edge of her web.  For a moment I wondered what I'd do if she jolted out and bit my face.  I still couldn't see her. For all I knew, she was in my hair.

I got to thinking, what is our first instinct when punched?  Punch back, harder.  What if we are called an ugly name? Call out an uglier name.  What if we're threatened with a big bomb? Build a bigger bomb and declare war on everyone.

I was faced with a choice - would I feel so threatened that I'd want to kill her?  She's been a totem for me all these weeks.  Or would I be understanding?  Afterall, I was infringing on her territory by putting my nose in her space. Wouldn't it be her instinct to protect her web? Maybe not. I've accidentally bumped her web before. Her response was to retreat. She's my hero.

On Monday, a fellow dogwalker [actual fellow this time] used his hands to try to break up a potentially dangerous fight between a pitbull and one of his charges.  The pitbull's jaws tore a chunk of flesh from his left hand. Unstitchable. The pitbull's owners don't have insurance. The dog wasn't current on vaccinations. The dogwalker signed a "do not euthanize" report.  He says it wasn't a malicious attack.  He's my hero.

I read an article the other day about Bethany Hamilton, the 14-year-old who survived a shark-attack while surfing last Halloween.  While still in the hospital, she begged divers not to hunt and kill the shark that bit her.  She never panicked during or after the attack.  She sees the attack as a blessing.  And she lost an arm!  She is my hero.

I've been a victim in my life.  But if it weren't for every single moment that I've lived, I wouldn't be who I am today.  I'd like to believe that everything that happens is a blessing - everythingI'd like to be my own hero.


kemh632 said...

Rent Under the Tuscan Sun. Her life doen't come compleat untill the end. It's very good.

jeanyu said...

Clearly you are my hero, in many ways, at least from your todays journal, for sure.

bridgetteleigh75 said...

Funny thing, Trish...I honestly believe you're many people's hero.

You're fun, loving, and you fight for what you believe in. I have mucho respect for you....and I hope you realize you're something special!

(Left lots of comments! Didn't realize I had missed so much! Glad to see your back full-throttle!) =)

sonensmilinmon said...

Clearly you are a hero in your own right. I too believe everything that happens is a blessing ... for they hold lessons that help us become stronger.

Smilin Mon

queenz43 said...

This was a most uplifting and insightful post Freee. Nice way to begin a day! Hugs and have a Great Weekend. ~RC~

s0ngbird1962 said...

OMG, you ARE my hero for STILL having that black widow residing in your house, lol. I would have given her, her eviction papers long ago. Ok, so no hero here....
This was a great post, I do believe that in most instances there is a silver lining in every cloud. A blessing to be found, a hero in the making....

deabvt said...

What a Wonderful Post, Freee.....Have a great Weekend!

hempenhomespun said...

Sometimes the strongest action is inaction.

As for your spider friend, I'm afraid that I have a "scream and squish reflex," so she would have been but a smudge a long time ago. The fact that you can live with a creepy crawly sharing your space makes you MY hero.

irun01 said...

Wonderful. Beautiful. Insightful. Intelligent. Well written. Thank you so much for sharing this.

andreakingme said...

You are SO inspiring, Trish. And you know what? You're MY hero because your attitude and energy and general joie de vivre absolutely ROCKS. I feel so lucky that I've met you. :-)

diannevan said...

I repeat the general consensus... you're my hero. You stand up for what you believe in, you let people be who they are gonna be, and you always try to help. Definitely puts you into hero status in my book.

Oh, and you go around without a bra trying to pave the way for the rest of us who are too embarrassed to swing free. Definitely a hero!!

geminiwilder said...

~*"I've been a victim in my life. But if it weren't for every single moment that I've lived, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'd like to believe that everything that happens is a blessing - everything. I'd like to be my own hero."*~

and you are, are. you do need to believe.
love, phinney

slowmotionlife said...

A very well-thought out entry, hon. Applies to so many aspects of our lives and shows your true compassion for people and the creatures we share this earth with. Humans have the tendency to think everything belongs entirely to them - and if animals [or people] get in their way, they have the right to attack them and scratch them out. It's the ugly side of our humanity. I admire those who resist it. :)

ondinemonet said...

Yep...I have come to the realization that while I have had some times in my life where I was most certainly a victim, I am here now and it has shaped me into who I am. Trish, I appreciate these entries. Thank you. Love, Carly :)

ckays1967 said...

This is the best entry I've read this week! xxoo

"Be your own hero" has such a nice ring to it!

musenla said...

Outstanding entry, Freee. Sometimes the most courageous thing to do is not to fight back, but to withdraw. If only nations and countries will learn this lesson, we wouldn't have to build up an arsenal of missiles and nuclear weapons to bully each other!

P.S. As for that black widow, I wouldn't kill her but I'd still call an exterminator. She may not bite when not provoked, but someone dumb might decide to push their luck!

freeepeace said...

KEMH - I've heard amazing things about Under the Tuscan Sun. I'll add it to my list. Thanks!

JEANYU - Aww, thank you sweetie. I'm a reflection of you. :)

BRIDGETT - Seeing the beauty in others has helped guide me to my 'inner beauty' - great role models. I'm far from a hero [shoulda seen me on the road today - rare form!]. But I hope to act with integrity.

SMILIN MON - We're all heroes in our own right. Thank God for the lessons.

RC - Happy Weekend to you too. I plan on catching up with your J this weekend - looking forward to it. :) xo

MICHELLE - The black widow isn't in my house [that really *might* be a different story] - it's in the boutique of the yoga studio. Omm [tehehe]

VINCE - Thanks - happy weekend!

HEMPEN - Let's not go overboard. Again, I'm not sharing a BED with the spider. ;-) You're right about inaction. Well said.

IRUN - Aww shucks! And thank YOU. :)

freeepeace said...

ANDREA - Are you singing one of my songs in French? I'm just as lucky and blessed to have met you. :)

DIANNE - Scary to think I could be someone else's hero. I'm just trying to be my own! :) Oh and it's real easy to go braless when there's not much to "swing free" as you say! :P

PHINNEY - I believe! [most of the time] :)

SLOMO - I strive for the day that my reactions are always of peace. It's a tough one. Especially in the face of threat and fear. "the ugly side of our humanity." - well said.

CARLY - Carly, you're an inspiration. Always willing to self-reflect. Never willing to forget laughter. Great balance. Thank you too. Love you!

CKAYS - Wow, that's saying a lot. There's lots of good stuff out there. Thank you. I take that to heart. :)

MUSE - I absolutely agree with you. The most difficult thing to do is love our enemy. But if we would, we'd be free and peaceful. Beautiful thought - all reality begins with a single thought.

I hear you about the black widow. I'd hate to see her go - but she can't stay where she's staying. :(

karensull12 said...

I think there is a world of "every day heros" out there that we never hear a word about. It takes a special person to not want to retaliate when hurt or attacked. These are the people we should look up to and hear about--not pop stars or athletes. The media needs to bring these people and their stories to the forefront of the news. If we heard more of these types of stories we would truly understand what a hero really is.

montaukny said...

Freee ~ **you** are my hero! What an inspiring entry...thank you! Just wish the media would focus in more on people like this, instead of the crutzy junk (thinking harsher words than this, but won't type them) they dangle before us. Might just make us want to be a little nicer to each other rather than despair over what we can or can't do to change the world! ~Aunt Nub~

harborkin said...

i like the things you said. yeah. it's true. all those people are heroes. i'd like to be a hero, too. rather, my own. peace!

miarenee24 said...

You are my hero! You have strength when I need to borrow some, which is often. You calm me down when I'm upset. You make me LOL! often. You have more compassion than ...well, anyone I know. I don't know anyone who wouldn't think twice about killing the spider. {{hugs}}

krobbie67 said...

You're MY hero!!! I could never make a spider my hero. I'm just too chicken-shit. This was a great, inspirational entry. Yes, be your own hero first! :-) ---Robbie

aynetal3 said...

We've been thinkin this over ... could you be the black widow spider's hero? Cuz you saved her life!

noirtec said...

Your blog is awesome!
I used to own two full grown turantula's. I miss them. As for a black widow,...that's the only spider I'm scared off. hehehe. You're MY hero. :)

Oh, there is a wall on my jogging route that has at least 10 of these spiders in various cracks within the wall. Creepy!

babyshark28 said...

are you not your own hero?? you should be!
who goes fighting for those who cannot? who has a voice and isn't afraid to use it? who puts herself not above....spiders? who cares for the downtrodden, the hungry, the 4 legged gentle beasts that roam this earth?
I am not going to answer these shoud be clear.
your not a victim, maybe once...but, never again.

coy1234787 said...

Lot's of interesting stuff in your journal, I have just started my journal a few days ago, any advice would be appreciated.

viarbooba said...

i got your cd today. your voice is so beautiful. as soon as it arrived i put it in to listen to it. my boyfriend & best friend love it too. it's not just your voice, it's the words, the're my hero! remember me when you're famous. :)

viviansullinwank said...

{{{{{Freee}}}}} today I'm trying to catch up in AOL J land. I enjoyed my time here at your place. How exciting that you have a gig this week. I wish I could be there, but I have to work on Thursday :( Here's wishing you a wonderful night/great gig! I hope some bloggers in the area are able to attend and post about it here in AOL-J Land.

txsguinan said...

What a lovely and pacific nature you have! Surely you know that you are already a hero! I'm not sure I would have spared the black widow; but then, maybe that's why you found her, and not I. I too was impressed with the story of Bethany Hamilton, the wise young woman who understands that you can't blame the shark for being a shark. Heroic, indeed. ... :)

freeepeace said...

KAREN - Excellent point. Well put! It's in the media's hands sometimes. And if we saw more "every day heroes" we'd have a completely different country!

AUNT NUB - Again, I agree about the media. Maybe I should start a peace-media center...and only report all the GOOD news. I have a great musician friend who talks about this in a song. I'll see if I can find a link.

HARBORKIN - Looks like you're back and journaling again little one. Good for you. Keep writing.

MIA - Aww...well, you just described yourself in that comment. And after reading your "Gone Fishing" entry, I know a whole family that would think again before killing something. :)

ROBBIE - The spider is harmless. I mean, she's poisonous - but she's not aggressive. That part of her is my hero. If she needs to protect herself, she's got her power. :)

freeepeace said...

AYNETAL - Aww, perhaps I'm the spider's hero too. Wouldn't that be something! We could be each other's hero. Cool.

NOIRTEC - Do you have pics of your turantulas? And next time you're on your jog, will you snap a pic of the wall of black widows? I think that's amazing!

SHARKY - That is the most humbling reflective comment - thank you! I love you. :)

COY - Welcome to AOL-J. I left you a help-link in your J. Have fun!

DONETTA - Glad you [and your friends] like the CD. Thanks for your support. :)

{{{VIVIAN}}} - You've been working a lot huh? Bummer. Would love for you to come to L.A. for a show. Someday! :)

TXSGUINAN - I honestly didn't know how I'd feel coming across a black widow...until I did. And Bethany Hamilton's story - I wish I could find the one that made me cry with hope. It was just beautiful. :)

somenuttychic said...

Wow. That's all I can think to say about this entry. Trust me, it's all good.