Comments, emails, phone calls, check-ins. I wanna say it doesn't matter. I wanna say it doesn't help. But it does. It gives me a lift, a boost. It puts a smile on my face. It helps replenish some 'lost' energy.
So does that take me out of my process? Out of myself? Perhaps it does. Does that mean I'm not doing my work - my inner spiritual work? Or is this part of finding the balance?
Yes Vivian, times like this, when I feel stripped of all external pleasures, can be very creative for me. Sometimes they are silent and I spend hours staring out the window. And sometimes in a rushing wave, I can hardly get myself to a pen and paper fast enough. I practically have to tear open my guitar case or I knock it off its stand [careful now, it's the only guitar I have] before I can hear what my soul has to say.
It's like my brain shuts off and the light of God/Spirit shines down through the top of my head and pours out through my open heart.
I've been fighting a fever all day - scratchy throat and body aches, alternating between chills and sweats. The patience I had yesterday must've flown out one of my open doors and windows. I feel hyper-sensitive about everything. I'm weepy and whiny. Just vulnerable overall.
They say vulnerability is beautiful - it's not always comfortable. But it's real. And real is beautiful.