Saturday, February 7, 2004


I'm dreaming again.  It's been a while since I've experienced this level of prophetic dreaming.  Dreams have always been in important part of my life - ever since I could remember.  My dreams are vivid, colorful, wild, strange but always in tune with life.  As I learn more about how to work with them, I'm reminded of all the many dreams I have had in the past that have prepared me for today.  So far this week, every dream has had information for each day as I wake.

I'm in a place of longing today.  I suppose it's to be expected with all my recent coveting.  Just goes to show, it doesn't serve me to covet.  I feel that no matter what I do; the clothes I wear, the food I eat, the songs I play, I'm still not satisfied.  Nothing seems to satiate this hunger.  Hunger for what?

There's nothing missing from my life.  Everything is perfect.  If you know me, you understand I believe there's no right or wrong.  Everything is absolutely as it should be - even imperfection.  In this moment, I have breath, I have food, I have shelter, I have love.  I have everything I need.  So then, what is this longing?  This ache. This unconscious desire.  I feel as though I'm on the edge of my seat, waiting for something ... something to happen? ... something to come? ... something to manifest?  I don't know.

I'm sure it's all part of the ebb and flow of life.  I come to this place often enough.  Hormones. The weather. The day. Time of year. I'm affected by it all.

It was this time last year when I started to make some important changes.  Big changes.  Scary changes. Perhaps it's just that.  Looking back today, I am validated by my spirit's ability to carry me through some of the toughest moments in life.  I didn't know what was to come back then.  I just knew I had to walk through the unknowing - the unknown territory.  I wasn't blindfolded but I certainly couldn't see a moment in front of me.

As a creator, I have to be real careful and clear about what I'm longing for.  It's important to leave doors and windows open by not being too specific in my thoughts.  Because as all creation begins with a single thought, it will manifest.


bridgetteleigh75 said...

Do you know what I think you need? I think you need a good old fashioned hug...from ME! =)

I have these days too. Not often, but I do. I always get this feeling of anticipation, as if something huge is just around the corner. Then when nothing's such a let-down. I usually get in a funk for a few days, then it's just gone.

Wish I was closer, Trish.

Love you,

slowmotionlife said...

It may be important to leave doors and windows open, love, but not with workers just 3 stories down with their jack-hammers and such. :P

I don't understand this longing you have.. but I feel sympathy for you, knowing that you feel unfullfilled, a sense of frustration at not having "something". My fear is that once you get "it", you'll only long for something "else". I hope that's not the case. ::hugs::

babyshark28 said...

this mood is probably from lack of sleep! Is the drilling still drilling in your brain?

I think your just waiting for a creative surge. a release.
it's coming, and you know it is...
take care

itsjustusinnc said...

Aha! And hence the original reason for the title of my own journal: ILLUSIONS of Grandeur. Even though my life LOOKED perfect & I had nothing to complain about, what SEEMS perfect in terms of wordly things can indeed be lacking when it comes to matters of the spirit. Now this last part here is extremely intriguing because it's the same type of thought process I use myself. [cont'd]

itsjustusinnc said...

[cont'd from below]

However, I've found that unless I'm keenly specific when I introduce that single thought into the pool of silence, I wind up with TOO many things and too many possible paths to take & I have to introduce another to help single out the best one for me. Though I do inderstand what you mean about keeping as many doors open as possible, sometimes I just would rather not spend so much time inspecting the other possibilities.


musenla said...

Our constant state of longing--or wanting--can be interpreted as either a blessing or a curse. I see it as a blessing. Though it can be a struggle, it's the one thing that makes us strive for change. As in your case, it's what compelled you to walk into "unknown territory", and the unknown isn't necessarily a bad thing. I say stay still. And listen.

ondinemonet said...

Perhaps what you are longing for is the same as the rest of us, or at least what I am looking for...ONE PERFECT DAY even if it only contains ONE PERECT MOMENT to make it so.

clarity4today said...

This is a lovely entry. Sorry you are feeling down, but I think you speak for most people. Everyone gets this feeling sometimes.

I also thought this: "If you know me, you understand I believe there's no right or wrong. Everything is absolutely as it should be - even imperfection." was a fascinating concept. No, I didn't know that about you!