I called MusicMan to check in about his wife's surgery. Apparently all went as expected. From what I understand she's enduring radiation treatments and continues to go in for test after test. I'll know more later tonight because he's ready to get his mind off this issue for a couple of hours and he's asked me to come record again.
This really feels like a birthing process. We're headed into the second trimester - and this is where I begin to panic. I need to choose the best songs for this project. How do I know which ones are the best? I have visions of finishing the final cut and suddenly slapping myself upside the head, completely forgetting to record my favorite song. It could happen! And of course there's that crippling fear that I'll write my best song yet, the day after I've wrapped this up! But I guess that's just the way creativity goes. It's never complete. We just have 'recordings' of moments in time.
I'm such a perfectionist that it keeps me from completing projects. If I don't think they'll be perfect, then I try to save myself the embarrassment. I don't put my full self forward. I hide. But that's just cheating myself. And that's not who I want to be anymore.
I've had the majority of these songs ready for production for about eight years. I've had the album title since before I had enough songs written to play a full set on stage. I've had the CD cover idea and favorite musicians in mind. And now that I'm finally in a place where I'm actually recording a full-length CD, most of that has been blown to bits!
I've never doubted the album title - until now. Not because I don't like the title. But because of who I am today. Like a relationship, we've outgrown each other. It was the perfect title for eight years. So here I am, recording what really should be my second or third CD, trying to incorporate as much of the original material as possible but really wanting to represent who I am as an artist today.
Ah well. I'm thinking way too much. So far I've been able to walk into the studio with a clear mind, ready to record whatever wants to come through. That's as organic as it gets. That's all I can ask for. That's what I want.