Monday, December 1, 2003

Music Monday

I called MusicMan to check in about his wife's surgery.  Apparently all went as expected.  From what I understand she's enduring radiation treatments and continues to go in for test after test. I'll know more later tonight because he's ready to get his mind off this issue for a couple of hours and he's asked me to come record again.

This really feels like a birthing process.  We're headed into the second trimester - and this is where I begin to panic.  I need to choose the best songs for this project.  How do I know which ones are the best?  I have visions of finishing the final cut and suddenly slapping myself upside the head, completely forgetting to record my favorite song.  It could happen!  And of course there's that crippling fear that I'll write my best song yet, the day after I've wrapped this up!  But I guess that's just the way creativity goes.  It's never complete.  We just have 'recordings' of moments in time.

I'm such a perfectionist that it keeps me from completing projects.  If I don't think they'll be perfect, then I try to save myself the embarrassment.  I don't put my full self forward.  I hide.  But that's just cheating myself.  And that's not who I want to be anymore.

I've had the majority of these songs ready for production for about eight years.  I've had the album title since before I had enough songs written to play a full set on stage.  I've had the CD cover idea and favorite musicians in mind.  And now that I'm finally in a place where I'm actually recording a full-length CD, most of that has been blown to bits!

I've never doubted the album title - until now.  Not because I don't like the title.  But because of who I am today.  Like a relationship, we've outgrown each other.  It was the perfect title for eight years.  So here I am, recording what really should be my second or third CD, trying to incorporate as much of the original material as possible but really wanting to represent who I am as an artist today.

Ah well.  I'm thinking way too much.  So far I've been able to walk into the studio with a clear mind, ready to record whatever wants to come through.  That's as organic as it gets.  That's all I can ask for.  That's what I want.


grodygeek said...

From one procrastinating perfectionist to another, just do it. Make a decision and get it done. It will be fine, you will be proud, and your fans will be estatic. You Can Do This!

yakima127 said...

I hope the end result is one that you can accept, and maybe even like a lot! Good luck in the completion of this project! It will be what it will be...!

sepintx said...

Create :-) Create :-) Create ;-)
It's a process. It's a Journey. And it's fine to enjoy both the walk and the destination.

raisinglouisiana said...

You know we're our own worst critics...
I'm a perfectionist too when it comes
to sewing or needlework. I point out
the mistakes that no one else sees, they
just see the final project that they think is
beautiful; it's the same with your music, we
hear beauty and are in awe of your natural
talent. Go ahead, do it, you have tons of
loyal fans here already, and I know I want
you to show the world what you got!
Love, Penny

babyshark28 said...

I love making up titles, I don't know why. it sounds like your getting cold feet..oh no! but, I feel your strength too :) that's good. I understand the whole "making the right choice" creatively thing. I do the same thing, creativity can be a fickle friend indeed. but always one that takes you places if you let it. :) I trust you freeepace, you will make the right :)

aynetal3 said...

Hmm, first the relationship ... you meet the band, play (sex), til you find you are expecting and start thinking names. Figure you've had 2.3 children (CDs) already. Songs would be like grades k-12. Embarrassment ... that be like over identifying with the child, hence believing you'll forget his/her's lines in their school play. It'll be tough Mom, but this new child IS on the way ... you won't worry about delivery after it happens! Trust me ... name will come to you. Let it happen fresh!

gvpagenc said...

"I'm such a perfectionist that it keeps me from completeing projects." Oh Freee do I ever know what you mean! That's been a really hard obstacle for me to overcome as well. In art, in music, in everyday life. You name it. But I'm still working on it & I know with your spirit you'll totally overcome it :-)


musenla said...

Your songs are snapshots of you in time, and it's inevitable that you will outgrow them. Doesn't mean they're not good, though, so don't let that perfectionist streak prevent you from sharing your previous work. I have the feeling that the future songs you make will have their chance to be heard as well.