Friday, December 12, 2003

Friday Night

So, as it turns out, I'm not crazy.  And I'm not manic - a little dramatic, maybe - but not manic.  I'm just human! ::sigh::  I've said it before, and I will probably always come back to this place:  Gotta ride the waves.  There are great lessons in those low lows.  I was on the floor last night, begging Spirit to show me truth, the way, the light.  When I really needed to be right where I was. I  knew it, even as I was in it. Not saying I liked it.  Definitely not saying it was comfortable.  But I knew I was okay.  I am okay.  That's a constant.

Woke up exhausted this morning.  Flat-out fatigued.  Canceled my day and spent most of the time horizontal, falling in and out of sleep.  Here it is, evening, and I feel like I haven't slept in weeks.  I have to go to a triple-birthday celebration tonight.  I am really looking forward to seeing all my friends.  But it's taking every bit of energy just to sit up right now.  I'm loading up on water, Emergen-C and the most potent Echinacea tincture on the planet [made with grain alcohol, garlic and cayenne pepper - if I didn't have a fever before, I certainly do now!]

:::post shower:::  Sudden burst of energy ... must act now ... headed out the door.  Gotta rush a bit - hitching a ride with Cheryl [one of the birthday gals!]  Have a good night all.  Peace and Laughter in the heart  ::sigh::

"If you wanna know how deeply my soul goes...deeper than bone"
"I wanna take a hit of your scent cause it dips so deep into my soul."
~ Alana Davis

7 comments:

slowmotionlife said...

Great entry.. I'm a lot like this. I run full throttle for a time, always busy in my head, planning, acting, moving, creating, working.. then a brick wall. Crash & burn. Suddenly, I can't think or move. All I want to do is sleep, cry, feel overwhelmed and oh-so-exhausted. Inspiration comes along then like gasoline and I'm on the road again, speeding toward another not-so-distant breakdown. That's life. Enjoy the highs, endure the lows.. make what you can of it. Have fun at the party!

aynetal3 said...

*Sigh* Been there ... took lithium for a while. I try to feel the constant of waking up each morning and seeing nothing but the routine of making that first cup coffee. Maybe I will, or maybe I won't let back in a thought or two ... instead I head for the computer. The routines have been good. Maybe you could have a grounding place too? Like after a certain amount of hours each day, you stop at a mirror, brush hair, and smile. Forward sensory progression!

grodygeek said...

Free,
I think there is no better medicine that a day in bed, just snoozing and lounging. When you can't stand it anymore you'll get up. Sure it can be a sign of depression, but sometimes it is just your body saying, "Hey, slow down!". I hope you had a great night. I had fun with the http://www.mikescottwaterboys.com/.
Gordy

babyshark28 said...

oooo love that Alanis Davis quote....lot's of substance in that one. I might write that one down...or just get her cd :) I hope you had fun during your birthday celebration :)

itsjustusinnc said...

LOL! Freee I knew you weren't crazy. I KNOW crazy! LOL! Seems like everyone's running themselves ragged in J-Land. Get some rest sweetheart. :-)

Gregg

raininginxmyhead said...

"That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward."
-Ernest Hemingway

freeepeace said...

SloMo, EXACTLY! I like how you put it, "enjoy the highs, endure the lows" Good to know I'm not alone. :) Ayn, great suggestion as usual! Problem is, I'm always in the mirror/reflection, working on liking what I see. [maybe cuz i never brush my hair] Gordy, right again! Hard to remember when I wanna gogogo but my body says nonono! Sharky, GET HER CD [trust me]. Gregg, you DO know crazy! Thanks for the validation :) Raining, great quote. thanks.