Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Find It!

Hunny doesn't like it when I go out without her.  She sometimes lets me know how upset she is by either eating my leftovers or peeing on the carpet.

I always try to bring her outside so she can "find it" before I leave.  This way her bladder won't spill too much for me to clean up later.  But because I've been going out so much lately - holidays, birthdays, etc. - she's been catching on.  She knows I'm dressed to go and she's determined to make me late.

My cue for her is "find it."  Which basically means, "find your spot, do your business and let's go."  Works like a charm - unless she thinks I'm going to leave her once she's finished.  So I have to say it in a tone that sounds fun to trick her into thinking we're about to go somewhere TOGETHER.

The first few start an octave higher than my normal speaking voice and go something like this, "Find it. Atta girl. Who's a good find-it girl?" [this one got old a week before Christmas]  Eventually my voice begins to drop while trying to keep my cool.  At some point I lose complete control with a teeth-gritting, low rumble "F.I.N.D. I.T."  This is when Hunny has the upper paw.  She stops pretending to sniff for a spot, gets this smug look on her face, looks me square in the eye and sits.  I'VE LOST.

Convinced she's doing this on purpose [usually in the pouring rain!] I throw a tantrum for all the neighbors to hear, "Why are you doing this to me? I need you to find it. Fine Hunny. Don't find it. See if I care. You little..."  I usually stop myself at that point [or I keep the rest to a silent whisper]  I want to drag her inside but instead, she prances!  [remember, she won!]

Today I came home to the lingering stench of Hunny-pee.  How could this be?  I scrubbed the carpet last night.  And Hunny was with me all day.  I thought I cleaned it all - by the couch, under the table, in that corner by the TV.  Where could it be now?  Frustrated, I dropped to all fours, searching, sniffing.  Behold Hunny speaking perfect English, "Find it. Atta girl. Who's a good find-it girl?"

19 comments:

miarenee24 said...

LOL-I have a very clear vision of this, I love the way you described it! But I know how you feel. I've done the same thing! before we had Stephen, we had 2 dogs. We couldn't find the pee, but it was strong. We both got on all fours, like you did & we found the pee..it was in the ac vents (in the floor) If you're in an apt. your vents may be close to the ceiling tho. dogs are smart little boogers! They can hide that stuff where you'd least expect it! (Stephen is sending hunny xo and a high-5!

irun01 said...

That cracked me up. You are wonderful.

hempenhomespun said...

LOL! Did she take a picture too?

itsjustusinnc said...

LMAO! Ah, Life with a dog! That's the thing that sux about dogs though, they never fall for the same trick more than a few dozen times :-)

Gregg

diannevan said...

"At some point I lose complete control..." Yep, you've lost it! And I'm not strictly talking about "control" either! LOL

viviansullinwank said...

OMG {{{FREE}}} there were so many children at home that my mother didn't allow us to have any pets. She knew we wouldn't take care of them and she didn't have the time with 8 little ones. So I can only try to imagine what you experienced..but you described it so well, I fell I can :)

slowmotionlife said...

You always tell the best stories. Especially when Hunny is involved. I love this one! Dogs are funny creatures, smarter than most people give them credit for. Maybe that's why I don't have one? I don't think I could handle being outwitted by my pet! :)

babyshark28 said...

LOL!!! that is a funny funny picture in my head...you on all fours, sniffing the carpet..ha ha ...you might not see it as funny...but, it's hecka hilarous!! ha ha..
ahh, freee. you funny girl. thank you for making me laugh. and happy new year!

musenla said...

Hunny is having her jollies with you, haha. She's a doll though; who would've thought she with those gohgeous doggy eyes can be soooo sneaky?

freeepeace said...

Mia, yep, vents are up high. can't imagine the stench in the vents! yuk! ^5 to Stephen from Hunny! Irun, you're not so bad yourself :) Hempen, I'm sure Hunny's got a candid webcam video of me posted on HER journal for all her friends to laugh at! Gregg honey, fetch, good boy! Ha! DiAnne, welcome back - and thanks for noticing! :P {{Viv}} 8 little ones, yikes! That's no place for a poor defenseless pet. hehe

freeepeace said...

SloMo, Hunny writes these stories! This one actually happened. Reza and I were both sniffing when we looked at Hunny's face [I spoke for her - since I knew what she was thinking!] Sharky, because of your comment, I reread my own story and cracked up! Recycled laughter - pretty cool :) Mara, you're right. Hunny's got amazing eyes...just be very careful when looking directly into them - you may fall in love...forever! :)

aynetal3 said...

Freee, somedays it just doesn't get any better than this! Laughed so hard when I got to the end ... didn't see it comin ... very smart *** dog! Has this trying to outwit each other gone on from the beginning? We're thinking you're goina have to switch to another "game" ... she's sure mastered this one! Our love, Jamie.

grodygeek said...

Freee, that is so like something I would do. As different as we are, there are so many things we humans do alike. I really laughed at this, knowing I could so do it too. Isn't it great when the tale just writes itself? Gordy

s0ngbird1962 said...

LOL Freee, absolutely loved the ending to this entry. Made me laugh.... So what I'm wonderin' is.... did you find it? : )

donah42 said...

Ha Ha--my dog goes on those sit-down strikes too! Other than that, he behaves himself....Our other dog used to get a bitter look in her eye when we left, and when you saw it you just knew you were coming home to a garbage-pillaging....Who owns whom?

krobbie67 said...

LMAO!!!!!

sunflowerkat321 said...

Hysterical!
Isn't it something how your dog comes to understand you SO WELL! There are some things you just can't force - and Hunny has sure figured that out. Smart girl!
:-)
Kat

robbygoe said...

Damn dogs, My dogs cue is just Rocco Go Pee Pee. I started to train him by sayin that when he went. Then would start saying it when I wanted him to go. I think he knows as soon as he does were going inside so he doesn't listen to oftern LOL. My dog has his spot inside the house though. The bathroom, and he always pees on the mat. I never taught him to do that, like I want him to pee in the house. But at least it's in the bathroom.

isabelzmia said...

<<"Behold Hunny speaking perfect English, 'Find it. Atta girl. Who's a good find-it girl?'">>

Oh, my! I soooooooooo have a visual! Don't you just love her, though!? She's only doing it out of love! ;-)
xo ~ Isabel