[continued from above]
DiAnne - Thank you for understanding that I *do* need to do what's right for me. I do believe in homeopathic and natural healing. I know you know that. And I am working toward doing what I need to do to stay healthy. This is step one.
Karen - Thank you for your prayers and the kind words. You are very sweet.
To all new commenters [am4th, andi214, yakima127, and ondinemonet - i've seen you around town a lot, but don't recall you ever commenting in my journal] WOW - thank you all for visiting, commenting, supporting and giving me more journals to read! Don't be strangers anymore. It's nice to hear from you.
Checking in: Yes, my ear hurts today. Yes, I'm a little scared. Yes, there's tugging in my throat and neck. But yes, I can handle it. I feel good. I feel loved. I feel supported. I feel like I matter. I also noticed that it hurts more in the cold air (A-HA!) - The pain subsided last spring. Could it be that my ear is sensitive to the cold? Possibly. Doesn't mean the tumor is growing and invading more parts of me now. I also remembered Doc drained (or, scraped) all of the substance from inside the tumor. I now have (or should have) an empty shell of a tumor there.
I'm close! I am very close to picking up that phone. What I'd really like to do is talk to a non-Western medical professional. But my insurance doesn't cover things like that (damn government!) But still, I'm thankful for the insurance, for emergencies!