Tuesday, October 28, 2003

keeping it real

Thank you all for your love and support.  I'm overwhelmed with gratitude in this moment.  You are all so unique in the way you express your love, it's heart-opening.  I'm suddenly acutely aware of the lyrics in my own song that was embedded in my journal - up until last night when I just couldn't bear it any longer!  "I can just receive as much as I can bear."  You all "sent me love through walls of pain."  I guess I am human afterall.

Sepintx, you put a pinhole through the walls last night with your stunning flower photo - and your cyber-hug speaks volumes.  Andrea, thank you for your warmth and generosity.  DiAnne, what can I say? Your reflection is greatly appreciated (and was apparently needed).  Ayn, Jesse and all - you are truly amazing, with your heart, your wisdom and your ability to put a smile on my face (peanutbutter/jelly).  Penny, your timing is impeccable.  I plan on getting to that list this evening.  Babyshark, I'm sorry you're struggling as well.  Please know I'm available too - the door swings both ways.  Donna, thank you for your support, always.

Keeping it real... I'm struggling.  But I'm always okay.  I'm beginning to understand that I've been through the ringer - and I've been putting myself through the ringer (double-whammy).  But I'm grateful for all the events in my life - even the most gut-wrenching, hiddeous acts of betrayal were all necessary for me to be the whole of who I am today.  As I strive toward forgiveness, I am bombarded with a flood of emotions.  But the only way out is through.  Sometimes I forget.  I have a lot of love and support - on the outside and now here in journal-land.  I am exactly where I need to be (even if it's not where I want to be).

6 comments:

happyb8888 said...

Hey Freee!! You're right. We can learn from everything in life if we want to. Good, bad, makes no mattermind. Experience is a wondrous teacher. Myself, I just try not to make the same stupid mistakes twice. But even when I do, I forgive myself and move on with life. My glass is always half-full. :)

That Happy Chica,
Marcia Ellen

raisinglouisiana said...

You're as REAL as anyone I've seen or heard.
It takes alot of courage to share things that you
think no one wants to see or read or hear, but you
know what, we do want to know, because all of us has
a similar story to share, and by sharing yours, you've
opened up your heart, and we have opened ours to you!
So walk on in, open arms will greet you!
Love ya, Penny

rebafandj said...

no words are needed...{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} :-D ~DJ

sepintx said...

I listened to your song last night. Read your entry a half dozen times. I always get a little sad when the last light of the day fades and all I am left with is shadow. There is always that one shot when all is dark and yet the light still holds on to one little piece of the photo. Happy to share that with you :-)

musenla said...

As saddened as I was to read the previous entry, I'm just as glad to read this one and know you're ok. This quote has always helped me: "Life is difficult. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. - M. Scott Peck"

clarity4today said...

Oh that was so nice to read! The way you view your difficulties with such honesty and objectivity is refreshing and uncommon. Your optimism speaks volumes; it gives us all hope. I hope you get to "where you want to be" soon. ((hugs))